How many times have you heard a product architecture referred to as “sheer insanity?”

How many times have you rolled out a product and wiped out an entire knowledge structure?

Have you heard software developers use words that are clearly unpronounceable by human tongues?

If, during a post-mortem, you’ve heard someone shout, “Ygnailh… ygnaiih… thflthkh’ngha…. Yog-Sothoth …HELP! HELP! …ff – ff – ff – FATHER! FATHER! YOG-SOTHOTH!..”

… perhaps it’s time to admit that what you’re trying to create isn’t so much “software” as “a portal to another dimension, filled with beings eager to devour your essence.” And maybe you’ve already opened that door a little bit wider than you’d like to.

Management thinks what we do at the H.P. Lovecraft Institute of Software Development is build customer relationship management software, but once you’re on the inside you’ll know you should never boot up our software unless you’ve got a monkey’s paw dangling from your neck and a line of salt between you and the hard drive.