Today there is cake in the office.

This makes me happy.

Yes, I can be bought off with simple things. I remember going to a pre-release gating meeting where the project manager started the meeting by opening a box to reveal four fairy cakes (with genuine fairies embedded in the icing).

“Is the code that bad, then?” I asked. But by the time we got to the yes/no decision, I was so high on sugar I was unable to form my mouth into the circular shape required to make a (nnnn)o. It’s like the fairy was gumming my teeth together and sapping my will to be contrary.

He was a clever man.

But I am cleverer. To guarantee approval, I bring caramels and peanut butter filled, chocolate covered pretzels to the test plan review meetings.

Remember: it’s still magick if you take a deliberate action to control someone’s behavior and it works. Call it “personality management,” call it “voodoo mind control,” call it some bad joke about purifying food with ketchup … results count.